I Want

Everything about me is tired.
I can feel it
in everything I do.
Everything I say.
I can feel it
right down to my fingertips,
seeping through my body,
through my very essence.

I feel so numb.
It’s like the days have
no effect on me.
Hours
or minutes
or days
could pass,
and I hardly notice.
Couldn’t bother to notice.

I’m empty.
Void of all feelings,
willpower.
Nothing’s important anymore.
What will fill
this empty space?
The place where my dreams
used to be.
Nothing holds my interest
the way it used to.

Something is wrong with me.
A vital piece of me is missing,
and I’ve no idea where it’s gone.
I want to feel something.

“I want the fire back.”
I want to feel alive.
I want to laugh.
I want to smile.
I want to cry.
I want to scream.
I want to hurt,
and heal
and love.

The above is a poem I wrote last year when I was deep in my depression.  It is one of my discovered documents.

 

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